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Malamute Superheroes

 

Digger Mal - Digs holes faster than a speeding bullet to liberate bones, grubs and flowers.

 

Hairball Hurricane - Baffles and blinds its adversaries with a cloud of hair as it makes its escape. Especially powerful at the change of seasons.

 

Shadow Mal - Protects it’s owners by shadowing their every move, from the backyard to the bathroom (shower and all).

 

Valor Mal - Fearless all-powerful creature afraid of nothing - except its periodic baths.

 

Muddy Paw Mal - The dirtiest paws in the west.

The Slobernator - Protects its owners and toys with a wet sloppy kiss guaranteed to fend off all danger.

 

The Howler - Strikes fear into the hearts of potential prowlers and trespassers with an intimidating array of woofs & howls.

 

NapaMal - The ability to sleep at the drop of a hat and so lull potential villains into a false sense of security

 

The Wolf - A food grubbing, couch loving mal-potatoes until you take her camping...  becomes an aloof and majestic timber wolf untainted by the demands of man, a wolf who can't see you, hear you or seem to remember

her name…

 

No Luv4U - Mal - Lies in wait until the festivities become heated and then materialized from thin air, strategically placing himself between the loving couple, and lies down effectively killing the mood.  Once the mood has passed, he surveys the territory like Superman and magically disappears. Leaving all in his wake aware that even if you don't see me, I see you.

 

Things that would be different at the North Pole if Santa had Malamutes instead of Reindeer.

 

· Santa’s sleigh falls off the roof (Malamute’s are not the most agile)

· Danger of yellow icicles

· Santa’s sleigh gets lost over the ocean because of visibility problems due to excessive shedding.

· Santa last seen chasing sled as it goes over the hillside chasing squirrels

· Dashing through the snow takes on a whole new meaning

· Brawl breaks out over the cookies left out for Santa

· Malamute’s “redecorate” the Christmas Tree

· You can hear the howl of Santa’s sleigh coming

· Concept of sleigh team goes out the window when there’s food involved

· Cats seem to be getting a high percentage of coal this year

· It’s Christmas morning and you find a giant rawhide wedged in the chimney

· Santa’s deliveries take 4 times as long because of numerous detours to chase Squirrels, birds, rabbits, etc…

· Santa permanently loses access to his easy chair

· Minimum size standards implemented for Elves, too small and there considered lunch

· Budgeting for hazard pay for those trips to the tropics

 

 

Shiva & Squirt’s Doggie Dictionary

 

Couch………………...….Doggie Bed                     Blanket…………..…Slobber catcher

Refrigerator……The Promised land                        Toilet…………………..…Water Bowl

Telephone…..Something to bark at                        Thunder……..……End of the World

Critters……………………....…Lunch                      Rug…………………….…Toilet paper

Vacuum………………………Monster                     T.V. Remote………..………Chew toy

Car…………...…Monster on Wheels                      Summer………Hibernation Season

Winter…………………….…Vacation

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