Malamute.org

How to tell if a person is a Malamute owner:

 

Won’t come when you call them, but put some food on the table…

 

When you throw something for your Mal to fetch and he just sits there looking up at you with this look as if saying your not going to get the ball so what makes you think I'm going to.

 

Your Mal tries to dig holes in your rugs

 

Honey, Where did you set that food?

 

Hair tumbleweeds going across the living floor after you just vacuumed

 

Potholes located in the backyard instead of the street.

5:30 am wake-up call seven days a week, who wants to sleep in on a Saturday or Sunday.

 

Dolphin leaps in snow banks.

 

When your neighbor kids tell you they heard Chewbacca in your house.

 

When you get home from a long day at work and just plop on the floor and you mal gives you that look why are you so tired I had to nap all day

 

How many Mal owners have to feed their dogs baby carrots for a bed time snack

 

The joys of sharing your home with a Mal, after all you can’t really say that you can OWN a mal.

 

Treasure hunting for peanuts hidden by the pirate squirrels in the backyard.  Game of keep-away with the backyard debris.

 

Relay races with rabbits, squirrels, cats, etc……

 

Amazing vanishing act when you fire up the vacuum cleaner.

 

You discover that the wash machine is not to blame for all those lost socks but instead they have fallen victim to the malamute..

 

The average life for a vacuum cleaner is ten years.  The average life for a vacuum cleaner where a malamute resides is 1 year.

 

Fact: Humans think they are masters over Malamutes.

 

Malamutes KNOW they are the masters.

 

You sit in the back seat so your mal can have "shotgun"

 

You take your mal with you everywhere you go and leave the car running with the A/C on (never mind gas is 1.80 a gallon)

 

You and your husband re-arrange your work schedules so one of you can always be home with your mal.

 

Our neighbors know when we correct our Mal - they hear him then correct us!

 

You spend 10 minutes in the cookie section of the grocery store deciding whether your mal would prefer peanut butter crème or vanilla

 

You spend $600.00 on an air conditioner for the house for his birthday present and then run it around the clock, after all Malamutes prefer the artic climate

 

You offer all your guests a hair/lint remover roll as a party favor

 

You can't understand why the neighbor lady does not get excited when she see's your 120 pound malamute running mach 1 to greet her!

 

As you are cooking dinner, your husband asks you if you are sure you have enough food for all 3 of you (the table is set for two.)

 

You go out to breakfast and order a side of home fries and ham to go and your waiter gives you a strange look.

Please submit humor to Brian (at) malamute.org   Please don’t submit copyrighted humor.

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